Is It OK to Love One Pet More?

By Julia Williams

Parents of human children rarely admit to others that they have a favorite. In my opinion, it’s probably not because they don’t feel a deeper bond with one of their kids. Every human being is a unique individual. It shouldn’t be surprising, then, to feel different things for different people.

One might say there are as many “shades of love” as there are stars in the night sky. So it’s a perfectly natural, human thing to have a favorite child, but most parents won’t admit it because the backlash can be brutal. Recently, one dad blogger received the internet equivalent of being burned at the stake after he confessed to having a favorite child. Society says we’re not supposed to play favorites with our kids. And that goes for our pets, too.

The reality is that some kids and pets are closer to our hearts than others. We may not understand why, but we know it’s true. It is what it is. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t create feelings of guilt. We think we should be able to love them all exactly the same, and we feel bad because we don’t. We can’t change what we feel, though, no matter how much we might want to.

I admit that I feel guilty for having stronger feelings for one of my cats than the other two. I positively adore Mickey and Rocky and would be a hot mess if anything happened to either one of them, but my spirit would be shattered if I lost my sweet Annabelle. I don’t know how (or even if) I could ever get over that loss, because this little cat has touched my heart in a way that I didn’t even know was possible, until one day … there it was. Annabelle is my heart cat. There will never be a cat that I love as much or more than Annabelle. As sure as I know my own name, I know this to be true.

Loving one child or pet more doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to treat them all as equals, but we all know it’s easier said than done. Little things slip out. Seemingly insignificant actions do not go unnoticed. I know without a doubt which child is my mother’s favorite, and it’s not me. I am not foolish enough to think that my own cats don’t also know which “fur kid” is my favorite. They do. Oh, I make sure to give them all the same number of those TidNips treats they’re crazy for. I pet them, brush them and speak lovingly to them as equally as possible. Yet I am certain they know what’s in my heart. How could they not?

My three "fur kids"

There is something unexplainable about emotions, something mysterious (spiritual perhaps?) about the bonds we have with others whether they have two legs or four. Mickey and Rocky probably don’t like not being the favorite child any more than I do, but that does not alter reality.

Is it okay to love one pet more? Well…I feel what I feel, so it has to be okay. I take good care of them and do everything possible to keep them safe and happy. I love them all as much as anyone can love another, and that’s what matters most of all.

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Can Dogs and Cats Cry?

By Julia Williams

Have you ever seen your pet cry? And by “cry,” I mean actual tears from their eyes as an emotional response. Most people would say no; the general consensus is that animals lack the capacity for such a thing. We know that animals can “tear up” as a result of allergies, dust, upper respiratory infections, pollutants and such, but crying as an emotional response is believed impossible by most.

I don’t really like that word “impossible,” though. It would imply that we humans think we know everything there is to know about the emotional lives of animals. But how can we? Unless we are a dog, we can’t know what is in a dog’s mind or heart. We can form an opinion based on science and personal experience, but I think it would be arrogant for any human to say they know with certainty what emotions a dog or cat is capable of feeling.

Many scientists definitely have their own rigid thinking about the emotional capacity of animals. They base their opinion on carefully controlled research rather than the one-on-one bonding that takes place between people and their beloved pets. But here’s the thing:  a recent study proved that people could tell what emotion a dog was experiencing by looking at photographs of the dog’s face. The photos were taken after introducing stimuli designed to elicit a specific reaction from the dog.

Happiness was correctly identified by 88% of the study participants; anger was correctly identified by 70%. So if we can tell by a dog’s face whether he is happy, angry, sad, surprised or afraid, is it farfetched to believe we’ve only scratched the surface in terms of the emotional capacity of animals? I don’t think so.

Jeffrey Masson, author of the bestselling book When Elephants Weep: The Emotional Lives of Animals, believes that animals do lead complex emotional lives. To support his theory, Masson found hundreds of anecdotes from the published works and field studies of noted behaviorists, including Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey and Cynthia Moss.

Few scientists have acknowledged or researched animal emotions. Yet “most people who work closely with animals, such as animal trainers, take it as a matter of fact that animals have emotions,” wrote Masson. “Training an animal will meet with little success if the trainer has no insight into the animal’s feelings.”

Veterinary behaviorist Dr. Nicholas Dodman also believes that animals lead complex emotional lives. “Science can't prove it, but there's absolutely no doubt in my mind that dogs and cats have real feelings, just as powerful as our own. It's just that I have never heard of a case of a dog or cat getting upset or depressed, and then crying real tears as a response,” said Dodman.

Searching online, I found a site that discussed the idea of animals crying tears as an emotional response. The writer asked for stories from people who had seen their animal cry, and the responses poured in. Nearly 100 people recounted tales of their pet crying; they spoke of tears of sadness, heartache, loneliness, frustration, tears of missing another animal or a person…even tears of joy. Could they all be wrong? Could each of those stories have a medical explanation for the tears?

Sure. But I like to think it’s equally possible that the anecdotes are in fact, proof that cats and dogs can cry. I’ve never seen it with my own eyes, but does that mean it’s not possible? I can’t see the air, electricity or Mars, but I believe these things exist. We can’t see our emotions either, but there’s no doubt we all have them.

Have you ever seen a dog or cat cry real tears as an emotional response? Please share your story in the comments!

Top photo by kitty.green66
Bottom photo by Colin Davis

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