Ready for Dating – Single Brown Dog Seeks “Alicia Keeshond”

By Bruin, canine guest blogger

Thanks to CANIDAE natural pet food, I'm well on my way to achieving my weight loss goal.  I still have at least 10 more pounds to lose until I do justice to my speedo, but I have been thinking about entering the dating scene.  Since I'm currently unemployed, not attending classes, don't spend much time in religious facilities (rules, rules, rules, everybody has their rules) and don't like hanging out at bars, I thought perhaps on-line dating might be the answer.

I'm really not interested in the stud service sites since I have a three-date rule (see what I mean about everybody having rules – I guess I'm just as guilty).  Since I haven't been successful in finding a suitable site, I was thinking I might have to start one on my own.

Although I'm over 21 (in dog years), theoretically I should be able to do as I please.  My mom and dad tell me that as long as I live in their house I have to follow their rules (ack, there it is again – rules).  I think their concern is that I'll open myself up to meeting all kinds of bitches.

Right now I spend most of my free time lying by the pool and working on my tan. Since I have no lions to hunt, just the occasional kitty cat, I do enjoy the excitement (NOT!) of bird watching.  The kitty cats actually have the audacity to use "my place" as their litter box.  Believe me, my dad is not a happy camper when it's clean-up time.

Speaking of those annoying little rascals, I was thinking of naming my dating site, the CAT'S' MEOW.  I'm a little concerned about the name, because I wouldn't want to attract the wrong types.  While we're on the subject of type, I want you to know that I have very simple tastes.

The dog of my dreams doesn't have to sing like Cher Pei, Alicia Keeshond or Shirley Bassett Hound. She doesn't have to dance like Jennifer Greyhound (though I do like 4 longs legs that go way, way up) and she doesn't have to look like Collie Robinson-Peete. I'm really not into the Brittany Spaniel Spears personality, but almost anything else is fine.  I'm looking for someone extremely well-groomed, as hygiene is very important to me.

She should enjoy good food like CANIDAE Life Stages (Chinese and Italian doesn't do it for me, but a nice juicy steak is within the realm of possibility).  Working dogs are OK, but she should know that I'm unable to have pups so she has to be willing to adopt.  Obviously, I would not consider someone in her menopausal years as too “mature.”

If she prefers, I would not be averse to meeting in a public place such as a park where I could unleash my animal magnetism if the opportunity should arise.  Of course, it would have to be consensual.  I wouldn't mind meeting up with a gentle Afghan who would be welcome to wrap herself around me.  I know, I know; I said I have a three-date rule…but remember, some rules were made to be broken!

Love & Licks,
Bruin